You work out of a Hotel?
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
