Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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