if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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