The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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