I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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