Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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