Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
The Olympian is in my bed
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize