She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
