Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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