living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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