I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Never underestimate the power of titties
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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