Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
