My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
