she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
