I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
