Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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