She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
