clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
