No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
