Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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