I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
