I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
