so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize