If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
We got so high we made milksteak
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
