I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
