Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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