Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I'm bleeding and have questions
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
