i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
