I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
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