Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(970): View more from Colorado

And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on

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(443): View more from Maryland

You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.

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(770): View more from Georgia

A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw

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(972): View more from Texas

I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.

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(314): View more from Missouri

It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.

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(315): View more from New York

Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk

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(630): View more from Illinois

I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock

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