If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
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