She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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