her vagine was all disorganized.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
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