1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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