What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
