Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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