STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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