I'd wear matching sweaters with you
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
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