You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
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