Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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