I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
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