hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
