Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
