Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
NoShamevember. You game?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
