no, he came in my armpit
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
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