Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
