im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
