My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
