No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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