New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
