I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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