I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
no you cant smoke seaweed
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Randomize
