It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize