I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
