my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
