At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
we made out on top of his cat.
honey bunches of taint.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
