Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Houston, we have a squirter
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
