I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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