all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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