Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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