Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize
