New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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