I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
