its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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