i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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