I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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