OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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