Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I think your dad took our porno
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
