these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
